ust imagine – ungodly amounts of fame, truckloads of wealth, a hot Swedish wife who bore him a family of cute little Tiger cubs. Tiger Woods has all of this and he risked it just to bone a cocktail waitress. Those chicks must really be rad.

Some of my best memories hark back to my own days in a bar. In college, I served drinks at a club in Boston where all of us waitresses were constantly hit on by the performers and celebrities who frequented the joint. Now we get together every so often to reminisce about the good times, like having our asses pinched by three dudes in one night. Being informed by a comedian’s body guard our “company” is requested in the green room. Getting asked by a B-list actor if he can do body shots off us ten seconds after he checks in with his wife. Man, those were the days.

Tiger’s waitress was from Los Angeles, but what guy would settle down with some wannabe reality TV star? Those ladies have no sophistication or discretion. Send a dirty text to one of them on a Saturday night and a man’s just begging to be in the Enquirer come Monday.

Ask me, Vegas is the ticket. Ever notice how often famous dudes get busted there? Even one of Tiger’s alleged booty calls works in the city. Vegas is where the hottest, wealthiest, most successful men in the universe go to completely debauch themselves. In Vegas, you get to help A-list actors cheat on their A-list actress girlfriends, and multi-million dollar athletes ruin their game by snorting coke off strippers’ bellies. Any gal hoping to achieve her professional and romantic goals should totally hightail it to Vegas. What better way to see Cupid launch his arrow than having a guy like Clooney puke Limoncello shots onto your tray. Score.

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Last-modified: 2021-02-24 (水) 01:24:02 (1096d)