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by Louise C on 2005 Nov 2 - 14:39 | reply to this comment dear male taken in hand ruler Sorry, but all this abject grovelling makes me feel slightly ill. I simply do not believe that only one person is to blame for the failure in a relationship. This Josh sounds like a right pain in the neck to me. It would be nice to think that he really appreciates the woman he is getting, but I don't see any sign of it in this article. It looks like he thinks he's doing her a favour by marrying her. I mean what is all this "Your first husband had no idea how to conduct a marriage" and he, of course, knows all about it. whatever happened to "Darling, I love you, if you marry me it will make me the happiest man on earth"? Where's all that chivalry we're always hearing about on here?

by Louise C on 2005 Nov 2 - 17:10 | reply to this comment Admitting error Oh no. I guess I wasn't clear on things. Sorry. He never laid a hand on me! That's what makes my actions so awful. I used it as a last recourse to insist on things my way in an argument. If he got loud and I didn't like it I would cast him aside, and if that didn't work I would call the law. I'm grovelling because I love him!! He hasn't even heard any grovelling yet. He probably won't because he's the type that would prefer holding me close rather than going through so many words. I mean I might begin to apologize, but he would stop me and hold me instead. In other words, he functions more on exhibiting a transformation rather than my stating that I have or will. He would rather feel it than hear it. The truth is I hurt him. The truth is I wasn't happy while being in charge.

You see, I was the abuser not him. I insisted on everything my way. I insisted on everything to be in my name. If he didn't go along I would threaten to kick him out. If he refused to leave I would call the law. I orchestrated control, and I nearly wrecked him. I look back now... and I see images of his facial expressions and I know I've hurt him. I'm only beginning to see his side of things because I'm feeling the entirety of my choices, since he's not here to bail me out again. Why would he endure me? He really loves me? He's not a pushover. I'm ready to give a part of myself up so that I can have more of the real thing.


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