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Speaking entirely personally, I view my desire for this kind of a relationship as an expression of my sexuality. I don't have a great deal of serious conflict in my present relationship. We're both mature people and have both been in relationships before. We had not only a good degree of self-knowledge when we met, but a good idea also of the kind of partner who would suit us. We took care at the outset to establish that we had similar values and a similar outlook. In fact we're very compatible. This relationship would work well as an equal relationship. We get on well in many areas and are well motivated to resolve conflict and also able to do so effectively.

I don't view a M/f dynamic as eroticising conflict so much, as eroticising the mundane and everyday. Both my partner and I are high sensation seekers. This doesn't just operate in the field of sex - it extends to continually finding things in the environment that fascinate us. The psychological interplay of the D/s dynamic is yet another area of fascination.

Why I'm sexually submissive I don't know. I have examined my history and tried to trace its development however like other women on this site, as soon as I became sexually aware, I became aware that I was excited by concepts of female submission and male dominance. Along with certain other writers on this site, I suspect there may in part be a biological component judging by my response to a larger and more powerful male.

Psychologists and psychiatrists are more used to working with people with problems rather than people who are happy in their relationships. Perhaps the male dominated relationships they see are in the main the abusive ones and not the ones where both parties are happy with a relationship style they have freely chosen. Why would such couples seek therapy?