The Dark Side Of Online Dating

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Sex Lips: "I just don't want to be bad company."

Me: "It's not like I'm taking you to go run a marathon."

Sex Lips: "I can take more ibuprofen with a small glass of wine while getting ready and hope for the best."

She now respects me as a man who won't put up with the same shit she does to other guys. She could have easily accepted my offer to stay home and never see me again. Up next? The actual "date".

My game? Lethal. It's potent. The shit I spit? Acid. It burns. Remember how I told you guys about how I may not be the best opener in the world, but once I already have the girl, she's in the palm of my hand? Well, you're about to find out part of the reason why:

I pull in to pick her up. She's cleaning her car, and I mean really cleaning her car. Wiping down the seats and everything. That's when I pick up my first clue about her. She's either extremely clean (i.e. obsessive compulsive), or really worried about my impression of her. Probably both. Little signs like these are what help me break down the persona's of the women I deal with, not stupid fucking "Cube" games or whatever you call them.

She invites me into her apartment while she grabs a few things. I then take my time to observe. Two fat cats. She's use to being alone. A Federal Government handbook. Probably has an important position in the government. Pictures of musicians on her wall. Extremely clean interior. Sheet music books in the corner. This all tells me that she is a sophisticated woman who has a government position, which doesn't leave time for relationships. I know a lot about her already, and she doesn't even know it...

It's decided that she's going to drive. I immediately bust her on her cats...

Me: "Your cats are fucking HUGE. What the hell do you feed them?"

Sex Lips: "Only dry food, I swear!"

Me: "I thought cats that huge only existed on the internet."

She then tells me one of their names...

Sex Lips: "Darwin."

Me: "Like the philosopher?"

Sex Lips: "Yes. He should have died, but he was one of the only ones of his litter who survived."

Another clue. Of course, many women read about Darwin in college, but how many of them actually remember who he is and what he's known for once they graduate? I'm impressed.