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Finding that he can keep his temper even in the most trying of circumstances, like when our youngest son got into his office and trashed it, or when he's just sat down on a sticky patch of bubble gum while wearing new clean black trousers ("How often have I told you not to let the children have bubble gum?"), has made me feel a lot more respect for him than I used to, and made things considerably easier between us. I feel a lot more relaxed.I find also that if he keeps a hold of his own temper, he can also stop mine from going out of control.

However, if I told him that I wasn't going to do any more housework, because it was his responsibility as a man to either do it himself, or provide me with slaves to do it, this would not have a beneficial effect on our relationship! Not to mention the fact that I think it's utter nonsense.

by Louise C on 2005 May 22 - 16:23 | reply to this comment Louise Takes a Hand However, if I told him that I wasn't going to do any more housework, because it was his responsibility as a man to either do it himself, or provide me with slaves to do it, this would not have a beneficial effect on our relationship! Not to mention the fact that I think it's utter nonsense.

For the sake of argument:

Were you to make this declaration to your husband - and stick by it - what do you think he would do?

Would he physically punish you or scream at you to the point of injuring you - to the point of your inability to refuse to comply for having been tortured into it?

Would he divorce you?

What other wonderful incentive would you imagine he might provide the wife he supposedly loves?

[And "what a guy" he must be, about whom such a list of alternatives can be assembled.]

by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 May 22 - 17:13 | reply to this comment What would he do? I can't imagine. What would anyone do if told something so silly? I mean, my husband could say to me "I'm not going to work any more, I'm fed up with it, I'm going to spend all day in the workshop making engines" (which is what he would like to do)Then what could I do? Go out to work myself (my earning capacity was never much above the minimum wage) and where would that leave us? My husband earns a substantial salary which keeps us all very comfortably, I would earn probably a fifth of what he earns, if that. I certainly couldn't afford to keep myself in the style to which I have become accustomed, not to mention the children and the husband.