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Some fourteen years later, I was wandering round Waterstones when I chanced upon a copy of Thy Rod and Staff, by Edward Anthony, in the History section. When I picked it up and started browsing, I soon realised that this was a very different kind of book from Mr Gibson's vicious polemic agains “the English Vice”. Mr Anthony seemed to think that it was okay to be interested in spanking, that it was possible to be a sane, intelligent and witty person (as he evidently was) and still like spanking. I walked around Waterstones clutching this book for about 15 minutes before I finally plucked up courage to buy it, then when I got home I couldn't put it down until I had finished it.

The book is divided into three parts. The first part “This Filthy Vice” (a quotation from George Bernard Shaw), deals with the decline of the use of corporal punishment in public life in recent times, and the possible reasons why people nevertheless continue to be fascinated by the subject. He pasy particular attention to the works of Havelock Ellis, who was alone among psychologists in taking a sympathetic view of the subject. Discussing what makes spanking different from other acts of pain infliction Edward Anthony writes:

The man who is erotically aroused by ritually smacking his wife's bottom (let us suppose she enjoys it no less than he) is actually excited by what? The love of giving pain to another? Only that? In that case, why not pull her hair or punch her face, or slash her skin, or humiliate her in public with a few cruel words? The answer is that these activities would almost certainly have the opposite effect to that sought: they would subdue desire.

This passage resonated with me because it was what I had always thought without being able to put it into words clearly, my desire to be spanked was not purely about wanting pain or humiliation, since other things could cause me much more accute suffering in both. Spanking was something different and special.